


Red, Black, and the Deep Blue Sea

by GreyLiliy



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24014386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyLiliy/pseuds/GreyLiliy
Summary: Wade stumbles upon what he thinks is a kidnapping at an aquarium, but discovers something much bigger hidden in the depths of the building—A merman.A very angry merman in desperate need of help. Thankfully, Wade is one Mercenary up for the challenge!
Relationships: Nathan Summers & Wade Wilson, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 58
Kudos: 575
Collections: Isn't it Bromantic - Mermay 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m still a notorious lurker, but I love it when the Isn’t It Bromantic? SpideyPool Discord server has events that make me want to participate.
> 
> This time? Mermaids for Mermay. I love mermaids. I love SpideyPool. The fic practically wrote itself (well, that’s not true…it still took some effort because my favorite didn’t want to cooperate but I’m happy with the end results).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needless to say, this is an AU, so expect familiar faces in different contexts. Even characters I haven’t actually read in the comics yet but wanted to use (Cable - I haven’t seen the second Deadpool movie and only vaguely know of him in the comics but I’m doing my best!).
> 
> Last but not least, that awesome title was thought up by the awesome BeeCat (Turpentine_Monster). So you can thank her. ;D
> 
> I don’t know how long this will be yet, but it will be done before May ends. That is my goal!! With that: Thanks for reading!

“Aren’t you an ugly little thing?” Wade asked the anglerfish. He leaned closer to the glass, catching his own reflection overtop of the sharp teeth and beady eyes. “You make me look handsome.”

The fish in question ignored him.

Being a dead thing in preserving fluid made it sort of difficult for the fish to do otherwise.

_Let’s go visit a cuter fish._

Wade agreed and adjusted his hood to better hide his own mutilated face from the museum goers around him. He scratched at a flaking piece of skin and rubbed his fingers together to grind it into dust that fell onto the carpeted, patterned floor of the bustling aquarium. He left the deep sea exhibit behind and whistled, wandering toward more lively subjects to observe.

He snatched a museum map out of a stand as he passed and opened it with a flourish. There were sharks on the other end of the museum that could be cool, though there was also a small coral reef section with some colorful critters and fish.

“Where should I go from here?” Wade asked himself. “Decisions, decisions.”

There was more than enough to keep him busy all day—which he needed to do. Cable had shoved him out the door, demanding Wade make himself scarce for the afternoon while he watched his favorite soap opera finale. If Wade so much as stepped food in the door during his “recap marathon up to the final episode,” Cable would kick him out of the apartment or shoot him—you could never tell with a mercenary.

As a mercenary himself, Wade knew that better than anyone.

Since Wade was crashing at the hideout thanks to Cable’s good will, he didn’t feel like testing his roomie’s patience.

It could have been an empty threat.

Cable could have been deadly serious.

Wade figured it wasn’t worth pushing it, and besides, Cable deserved to watch his finale in peace. Wade was a considerate best friend, after all!

“Let’s see—”

“I’m gonna’ kill that thing.”

Wade stopped and shut his mouth to listen. He took a step toward the wall and lifted the brochure to continue the illusion of reading, but his eyes searched the room for the source of the voice.

“You’re the one that put your hand in the tank,” a second voice said. “So you brought that on yourself.”

“It bit me!”

“Because you keep poking it.”

Wade spotted the two employees caught in their rather loud conversation. _A misbehaving exhibit, maybe?_ They had been just behind him and Wade saw an employee door shut. They walked closer and he narrowed his eyes and zeroed in on the bleeding hand the employee kept close to his chest.

When the man wiped some of the excess blood on the towel, it revealed the teeth markings.

Human teeth markings.

“Cover that up,” the uninjured employee said. He shoved the towel back over it and huffed. “You’ll scare the guests.”

“Right, right,” the other said. “But I swear, when we get back from first aid, that thing is going to regret messing with me.”

“Or you can leave it alone or the boss will kill you.”

“Whatever.”

Their voices faded as the two employees got farther away, but Wade had seen enough. He hadn’t lived as a mercenary as long as he had without seeing some rotten things in the world.

An aquarium would make a great cover.

Wade folded the pamphlet and slid across the wall until he reached the employee entrance. He held the pamphlet with one hand and slipped one of his hand lock picks out of his side-pack and worked on the door while the guests that walked by saw nothing more than a man in a hoodie reading.

_Got it._

When the door lock clicked, Wade waited until all eyes were distracted with the fish around him before he slipped inside.

* * *

“Come on,” Wade said under his breath. He dodged another employee as he walked through the back areas of the aquarium. “Where are they?”

He hadn’t been wrong.

That employee had been bitten by human teeth.

_We’re sure of it._

“He said he put his hand in a tank,” Wade stayed close to the wall, eyes searching for a door with a fire escape map so he could get a better idea of the layout. “So they must be keeping him in a large storage tank? Or maybe something worse?”

Wherever the person was, Wade needed to help them.

His days of helping only when the price was right were over. He licked his chapped lips and checked the next room. Storage. Chemicals. Nothing fancy. Wade closed the door and kept going. Gaining friends and new life perspectives had done wonders for his world outlook.

_But that’s a story for another day._

Two long hours passed as Wade continued to search, cursing the large size of the aquarium and the number of employees that refused to leave so Wade could sneak to the next room. Another hour passed after that.

By the time the museum closed and the employees started to pack up and switch shifts, Wade had seen no sign of a kidnapped individual being held captive in a tank.

He’d even seen the bitten man earlier and followed him, but the guy never went back to the scene of the crime.

_Maybe we didn’t see right._

Wade leaned against a wall and covered his mouth. The employee’s hand was bandaged, so Wade couldn’t get a second look. It’s possible he’d been wrong. Maybe the guy had been talking about a fish with a similar bite pattern?

He had seen quite a few exhibits in quarantine tanks, isolated from the others that had some impressive bites.

“There’s no one back here,” Wade said. He smacked his cheeks and pushed off the wall. “I need to leave before someone catches me.”

After closing, he wouldn’t have the “I stumbled into a locked room and got lost!” excuse that he could have pulled earlier.

_Let’s go._

Wade waited for one of the cleaning staff to pass before he left his hiding spot in a closed office. He followed his mental map to where he last saw a back exit and was glad for the reduced staff making it easy.

A wail stopped him ten feet from the exit door.

Wade stopped.

 _What was that?_ He turned toward the outer wall of the building and saw an old door. Wade didn’t remember that one on the fire escape map. _What have we here?_

Another angry shout of frustration came from the other side of the door, muffled and quieter, but no less distinct.

“Maybe I was right,” Wade whispered. He leaned his ear against the door and held his breath to listen. He heard a thump. An impact. But only one voice. Whoever was in that room, was alone. “Let’s get you out of there.”

Wade set to work on the door with his well-used lock pick and cracked the door open as slow as he could. He didn’t want to spook whoever had been captured, especially if they were at the point of angry thrashing while in captivity. Wade slipped inside the dark room and sucked in a steadying breath.

“Hey there,” Wade said. “I’m here to help.”

Silence.

_With that wail, the guy wasn’t gagged—so he must be scared._

_We can work with that._

“I’m going to turn on the lights, okay?” Wade felt along the wall until he found the switch. “Don’t be scared, all right?”

A soft orange light filled the room from the hanging, old bulb in the center. Wade saw a huge tank with a serious, heavy duty lid clamped down onto the top and secured with iron bolts and locks.

“Well, shit,” Wade said, dropping his hands by his sides. “Look at you.”

In the center of that tank, was an angry pair of hazel eyes attached to a young man with messy brown hair and a fish’s tail from the waist down.

A merman.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep repeating to myself that I will finish this fic before May ends while looking at the other stories I should also be updating.
> 
> YOLO. Am I right? Lol. Enjoy the next chapter!

_Not what we were expecting._

_Nope._

“Okay, two questions,” Wade said, holding up two fingers. The merman in the tank continued to glare, his bright red tail swishing every so often to keep him pressed in the same spot against the glass in the water. “You can nod or shake your head if you can’t talk through the water.”

The merman narrowed his eyes further in that way he had come to recognize from his good buddy Cable as “Why are you being an idiot, Wade?”

_Understanding!_

“First! Did you bite a guy earlier?” Wade asked. The merman didn’t nod, but he did snort with a smile, showing off a handsome set of human-like teeth. _That’s a yes._ Wade gave the proper nod himself. “Second, are you being held here against your will?”

The merman’s smirk dropped with slow understanding. He bit his lip and straightened, leaning his shoulder against the glass.

After another moment of thought passed, the merman nodded.

“Then I lied!” Wade shouted. He came closer to the glass and eyed the lid’s lock as the merman went on alert, teeth grinding and ready to bite once more. Wade reached up and slammed his hand on the lid and put his face against the glass so he could look right into those hazel eyes. “I have a third question: Do you want me to help you get out of here?”

“Yes,” the merman mouthed, slamming his hand on the glass. “Now!”

_Demanding._

_Focus. Mythical creature we had no idea existed needs our assistance!_

“Yes, sir!” Wade said. He looked around the room for any sort of pryer or way to break the lid without making too much noise. Not seeing one, he braced himself for some pain. “Give me one second.”

He grabbed the side of the tank and hauled himself up to sit on the top of the lid. As he landed he could see through to the entire tank below. Swimming around with the mermaid were several other large fish.

One of which saw him and rammed the lid hard enough to rattle all of it.

“Hey!” Wade shouted. He clamped a hand over his mouth and looked to the door. It was after hours, but that was the perfect time for someone to check on the captive merman—that laughed at his scare. “Laugh it up.”

Once he was sure the other fish weren’t going to go for the lid, he inspected the latch connecting the lid to the tank and the lock keeping it there. While sturdier than your average lock, it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.

With his trusty lock pick in hand, Wade made fast work of the lock and put it in his pocket for safe keeping.

A tapping under him had Wade looking down. The merman stared up at him through the lid and then pointed to the other side. Wade followed his finger and realized that the glass lid was held down by more than one lock.

“Oh, right.” Wade snorted and slid across the lid, systematically working his way through the various locks that held down the lid. “They really didn’t want you getting out, did they?”

The merman crossed his arms.

_Touchy subject._

“Got it!” Wade slid off the tank and hit the ground. He pulled over a large bucket and flipped it over to give himself a step up. “Let’s get this off.”

He shoved with all his strength and moved the stupidly heavy piece of glass far enough that someone human—or merman—sized could squeeze through.

“There,” Wade said. He crossed his arms over the side and looked down. “But we have another issue: How do I get you out of the building? Like, can I just hide you in my hoodie and carry you out, or do I need to hijack a smaller tank and stick it on a cart because you’ll die without water or something?”

The merman broke the surface, his hair wet and flat against his face.

Wade held his breath as he kept the merman’s searching gaze.

“Why are you helping me?” the merman asked. “We’ve never met before.”

“That’s easy,” Wade said. He held his hand out for a shake, wincing when he saw his skin. He was out of costume. Wade hoped his hood continued to shadow his face. “I’m Deadpool.”

“That tells me nothing,” the merman said. He shook Wade’s hand and shrugged. “But I’ll accept the help.”

No wincing.

_No staring._

No reaction to Wade’s hand, skin, or face that was clearly visible despite Wade’s wishes.

Not even a comment.

_He lives in the ocean. Where that anglerfish lives—bet he’s seen worse than us._

“What’s your name?” Wade asked, shaking back and squeezing. “To make conversation easier, of course.”

The merman looked away, letting go of Wade’s hand. He held the side of the tank, swishing his tail back and forth under the water. The merman mumbled, “Peter.”

“Really? That’s it?”

“What’s wrong?” Peter asked, frowning. “It’s a name.”

“Yeah, but it’s like…a human one.” Wade hopped off the bucket and looked up at the merman leaning over the tank edge. “I thought you’d have some cool fantasy name or something unpronounceable by the human tongue.”

The merman dropped his head and cover his eyes with his hand. “I can go two days without water. Just carry me to your car.”

“Drop the name thing,” Wade said. “I read you loud and clear, but I’m just going to check the hallway real fast before we do this.”

_Have we registered yet that we’ve been talking with a merman? Like a real one?_

_Nope. Not yet._

_On the off chance we’re dreaming?_

_Yup! Why ruin the moment?_

Wade cracked open the door and looked both ways: No one in sight. He slipped out of the door and made it to the exit. He unlocked the door and made sure to disconnect the security alarm before returning to the storage room.

“My car is on the other side of the building, but I’m good at stealth when I want to be,” Wade said. He pulled off his hoodie and handed it to the merman. “Put that on. It’s cold outside and you’re already soaked.”

Peter hauled himself up and sat on the lid before putting on the hoodie. His lower half’s fish tail did not bend at all like he’d seen in movies and books. That might make carrying him harder than Wade would like, but he’d work with it.

“Shall we?” Wade asked, stepping on the bucket again. He held his arms out and Peter scooted over, dragging himself with his hands until he reached Wade. He stopped a foot from Wade and his shoulders dropped. Wade lowered his arms. “Are you okay?”

“Are you really here to help?” Peter asked. He looked Wade in the eye once last time, his breath picking up. “You’re not a bigger asshole than the aquarium guys are you?”

“Uh, that’s an unfair question,” Wade said. “Because I am here to help, but I am absolutely a bigger asshole than anyone else you’ve ever met. Ask my roommate Cable. He has said on many occasions that I’m the most annoying man he’s ever met.”

Peter jerked as he held in the snort, but the laughter broke through right after.

Wade held his arms out again. “Look at it this way, if I turn out worse than these guys, at least I made you laugh.”

“I’ll take it,” Peter said. He finished his scoot across the glass lid and wrapped his arms around Wade’s shoulders. The soft fabric of Wade’s own hoodie blocked most of the skin, but that was fine. “Get me out of here.”

“Yes, sir.” Wade stuck his arms under Peter’s tail and hauled him fully out of the water and pulled him into a bridal hold. His fingers slipped along the red scales and he had to dig in to keep hold. “Ew, slime.”

“All fish have slime coats,” Peter grumbled close to Wade’s ears. “It’s important, so don’t rub it all off.”

“Sorry,” Wade said. He grunted as he hopped off the bucket and landed on the ground. Fully out of the water, he realized just how long Peter’s tail was. From head to the tip of his fins, Peter was about eight feet tall and he weighed like it! Wade was glad he was stronger than the average guy as he lugged the heavy merman to the door. “Okay, stealth time!”

They made it five steps down the hallway before a night guard spotted them.

“Stop!”

“Can’t!” Wade shouted, slamming the back of his shoulder into the exit door. _So glad we prepared earlier and that it was close!_ The door burst open and Wade hauled Peter over his shoulder into a more comfortable shoulder carry as he sprinted across the back lot of the building. “Sorry about the bumpy ride!”

Peter’s fingers dug into Wade’s arm as he clung tighter, but nothing too painful.

The security guard shouted at him from the doorway and the click of a radio pinged in Wade’s ear, but he ignored it. He saw Cable’s junker of a car in its parking spot and dug in his pocket as he ran for the key fob.

Opening the back door gave Peter all the cue he needed, and the merman lurched forward to pull himself into the seat, twisting and curling in order to fit everything inside.

Wade shut the door once he was inside and dove into the front seat.

The car shot out of the parking lot before the security guards had left the building.

_Cable’s going to be ticked if they saw his plates and call it in._

_He’ll get over it._

“So now that we’ve escaped, where would you like me to drop you off?” Wade asked. He looked at the merman in the rearview mirror and then out the back window to see if they were being followed. “Is it close? Or do you know?”

“Ocean. Anywhere is fine as long as it’s open water,” Peter said. “Though I’d prefer you drop me out somewhere far from shore instead of on the beach.”

“I can do that,” Wade said. He nodded to himself. “To the docks!”

Peter smiled, covering his face with both arms as he wriggled in the back seat, cramped and uncomfortable.

_We admitted there’s a merman in the car yet?_

_Nope!_

* * *

After getting his hoodie back from Peter in order to hide his face, searched the dock for a boat he felt confident hot-wiring. It took longer than he’d hoped, but he eventually found an older one that was large enough to hold Peter.

“I’m guessing the aquarium wasn’t sure how to tell the police a merman got kidnapped, or there’d be someone after us by now,” Wade said, helping Peter into the back of the boat. The merman relaxed as he spread out on the open back seat, tail flopping on the ground. Most of the slime from his tail had rubbed off on the back seat of the car and he hoped that didn’t hurt the guy too badly. “Lucky us, right?”

“Yeah,” Peter said. He exhaled and looked over the edge of the boat at the water. “I can’t wait to get home.”

“You’ll be there soon,” Wade said. He hopped into the front seat of the boat and pullout a pocket knife to check the ignition. “Now just let me get this—”

“Wade, what the hell are you doing?”

Peter and Wade turned to see a very grumpy old man with a metal arm standing on the edge of the docks near the boat.

Holding a gun aimed a the two of them.

“Hi, Cable!” Wade waved. Peter froze in the back, grabbing the boat railing. He looked ready to jump into the water and make a break for it, but also had enough common sense not to move quickly while an armed man had them in his sights. Wade got up and took a step to block his line of sight to Peter. “I thought you were watching your show?”

“I was until I got a call for an emergency job because someone matching your description stole their property and they didn’t think the police could handle it,” Cable said. “And here I find you. In the middle of the night with said property.”

_Oh, Cable’s ticked._

“I’m not property!” Peter shouted. He continued scooting closer to the edge of the boat, but his eyes stayed locked on Cable’s gun. “And I’m not going with you!”

“He’s right,” Wade said. He crossed his arms and let his shoulders fall back to increase his height. “On both counts.”

Cable sighed and holstered his gun. “Start explaining.”

_We can do that!_

So Wade did.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is May half over. WHY. Doesn’t it know I need to finish this story before then?
> 
> I’m going to be rushing at the end of May. I can feel it in my bones.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

“Wade, you are a dumbass,” Cable said. He pinched the top of his nose and put a hand on his hip. “But I suppose your heart was in the right place.”

“I won’t apologize for helping.” Wade stood his ground. On the boat in the water—the point still stood! Peter had yet to dive into the water, his eyes still on Cable. “So you can cancel that job and I’ll pay whatever it is they were going to to make up for it.”

“Keep your money, Wade.” Cable waved his hand at Peter. “Get him out of that stolen boat. We’ll take him home until things calm down.”

“Our home?” Wade asked. Peter inched closer to the edge of the boat, ready to bolt. _We won’t stop him. But is that safe?_ Wade took a step on the dock to give Peter more space. “Why?”

“Because the guys that hired me are staking out his home and waiting for him to swim up to her dock,” Cable said, eye on Peter. “You live with a lady named May Parker, right?”

Peter’s eyes widened and his breath hitched.

_That’s not good._

_Nope._

“They hired me to go after Wade and said they’d be waiting at Parker’s house in case you made it to the water,” Cable said. He crossed his arms and watched Peter, though he did not make a grab. “So it’s your choice. Risk getting caught again or hide out with us—and I don’t care which you pick. I’m only offering because I know Wade is going to get over involved if I don’t at least offer.”

“Aw, you know us so well,” Wade said, clasping his hands together. He stepped back into the boat and looked at Peter. “It’s not the ocean, but our jacuzzi tub is amazing.”

“My jacuzzi tub.”

“Cable’s jacuzzi tub.”

Peter looked between Wade and Cable before glancing at the water. He bit his lip and and gripped the side of the boat, hard enough to crack the plastic. _Strong._ Peter narrowed his eyes. “You said they’re at my Aunt May’s house?”

“They said they were watching for you to come back, but they didn’t say anything about bothering her directly,” Cable said. “As far as I know they’re leaving her alone.”

The merman let go of the boat’s side and covered his face. He breathed hard for a second before dragging his fingers down. “I can’t go home if they’re watching the place. Aunt May might get hurt if she sees me first and tries to intervene.”

_Aw, he loves his Aunt!_

_So cute._

But also frustrated.

Peter’s face remained suspicious as he looked at Cable and Wade: Two strangers that could do anything to him if they took him home. The lack of trust was a given, though Wade had no idea how to solve that.

_So don’t!_

_Go back to the matter at hand._

Wade agreed with the thoughts and looked back to Cable. “So what’s the plan? You tell them I let Peter go and he went sprinting, but we keep him safe and sound until we can deal with the baddies?”

“Something like that.” Cable pulled out his phone and typed a number. He looked at Peter as he let it ring and answered. “I’ve got Wade. No merman, though. You’re out of luck, buddy.”

“Dammit!” Wade and Peter heard from the other end, loud enough to be clear through the speaker. “We need that merman!”

“Not my problem,” Cable said. He huffed into the line. “I’m keeping my deposit, but you can forget the rest of the payment. It’s not worth my time to hunt down a merman in the ocean.”

“Wait!”

Cable clicked the phone off and shoved it in his pocket. It rang with a new call but he didn’t answer. Cable turned to Peter. “Is that enough proof I’m sincere?”

Peter nodded and dropped his hands into the drip of his tail and rested his head on the side of the boat.

“Wade, you carry him and I’ll get the car.”

Cable left without an other word, muttering under his breath with heavy stomps.

_Glad he knew how to fix things._

_He’s good at that._

“I’m sorry it turned out this way, but I’m sure it’ll be over before you know it,” Wade said, leaning down. He held out his arms and waited for Peter to come to him. “Should we go?”

“Yeah,” Peter said. He grabbed Wade’s arm and pulled himself over, yanking himself up to get into his arms properly. The slime of his tail still felt weird, but his own wrinkled and scarred skin couldn’t have felt much better. Peter lowered his voice and said, “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Wade returned to the dock and followed Cable to the car. He helped Peter into the backseat and climbed into the front passenger in time for Cable to start his car and pull away from the docks. Wade turned in the seat to look in the back at the miserable Merman. “So, there’s an Aunt May?”

Peter slumped into the door and watched Wade with wary eyes. “What of it?”

“Sorry!” Wade said, holding up his hands. “I was just trying to make conversation on the trip home. We’re going to be roomies for a bit, you know.”

Cable snorted.

“What?” Wade whined. “It’s true!”

“Aunt May took me in when my parents died,” Peter admitted. He rubbed under his nose and dropped his head against the glass of the door as he watched the city pass. “Her and my Uncle Ben, though he passed a year ago.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Wade said. He watched Peter’s face; numb and emotionless. _Don’t ask. Don’t ask. Do. Not. Ask._ Wade asked, “How’d that happen?”

_Dumbass._

“He was shot,” Peter said, voice low. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Reading you loud and clear.” Wade cleared his throat and turned back to face the front. “I’ll just…shut up.”

“I didn’t think that was possible,” Cable said. He looked at Peter through the rearview mirror. “I might have to keep you around longer than planned, merman.”

Wade would have hit Cable, but Peter snorted and a smile appeared on his face.

_We can let the jab slide._

* * *

“You weren’t kidding about the jacuzzi tub,” Peter said, splashing the water against the side. He stretched his arms and dropped them over the side of the tub. “My entire tail fits.”

“It came with the place,” Cable called from the other room. “I didn’t pick it out.”

“But it’s coming in handy now!” Wade called back. He sat on the toilet, and stretched his legs out. “Isn’t that right, Pete?”

“It’s not the worst,” Peter answered. He groaned as he stretched and rolled back into the tub, sinking into the water until only his head was exposed. “Better than that tank.”

“How’d you get in there, anyway?” Wade asked. He cracked his knuckles and neck. “What evils are in the aquarium that good old Deadpool will have to take care of later to make sure you can go home to your sweet Aunt?”

Peter dropped his head under the water and blew bubbles.

_That’s adorable._

_Why is he so cute?_

The merman popped up a minute later and his shoulders tensed as he grimaced. “That is actually my fault.”

Wade rolled his finger for Peter to “Go on.”

“I live in the inlet behind my Aunt’s house. A month ago, one of the aquarium’s boats was driving by looking for good tour routes and I wasn’t paying attention,” Peter said. He scooted back near the wall of the tub and ran his hand under the water, mimicking a fish swimming. The hand jumped out of the water in a leap and dove back under. “I jumped at the wrong time and got spotted.”

“Oh?”

“Worst of all, I didn’t notice that they saw me, so when they came back with a net and a tranquilizer gun later that night, I didn’t stand a chance.” Peter rubbed his face. “I was in the tank before I realized it.”

“Sucks to be caught off guard.” Wade rubbed his fingers together and felt the ache in his muscles and bones. _Though we volunteered for our particularly nasty surprise._ Wade forced a smile and made sure to make sure to show his teeth. He’d been sitting around without a mask with no strange looks from Peter and it felt good. “But no worries, we’ll stop your little aquarium problem free of charge.”

“Will you two shut up?” Cable growled and turned the volume of the television up. “I am trying to watch the finale!”

“Oops,” Wade whispered, covering his mouth. He got up and gave two thumbs up to Peter. “I guess that’s our cue to turn in for the night.”

“Goodnight, Wade.” Peter said. He reached out and grabbed the edge of Wade’s hoodie as he passed, tugging on the fabric and leaving wet prints. “Thank you again. I mean it.”

“Glad to help.”

_And we mean it._

Wade said one more goodnight and closed the bathroom door, tip-toeing behind Cable to get to his bedroom. Once safely inside, he leaned against the door and inhaled. The way Peter had said his name sent blood rushing to all the right places.

“We have a merman in our bathroom,” Wade whispered aloud. He slid down the door to sit on the ground, his back still against the wood. “A handsome, good looking merman.”

_Don’t think it._

_Do. Not. Wade._

He thought it: Peter’s lips stretched in a coy smile. The saltwater taste that clung to them. The way his tail slid through the water, the red scales glittering under the fluorescent bulbs that washed the bathroom in blue.

How good it would be to kiss the lips that said his name with genuine gratitude for a rescue well done.

_We told you not to do that!_

_Now you’re in too deep._

“I’m only human here!” Wade whined. He groaned and banged his head against the door. “How can I not think it?”

“Wade! For the last time, shut up!” Cable shouted from the other side of the door. “If I have to say it one more time, I’m going to stuff you in a drawer!”

“Sorry!”

Wade covered his mouth and flopped on his side. He rolled over twice before getting up and dragging himself to his laptop.

_We can’t sleep with the merman._

_He’s our guest._

_We saved him._

_Wouldn’t work._

“Lies,” Wade said. He knew how the stories went. Merfolk were known for seducing humans. There were hundreds of stories of humans and merfolk getting together one way or another. Wade would totally have a chance. Maybe. He shook his head and set his forehead on the desk. “But I should stop thinking about it.”

He had to make it safe for Peter to go home.

And look into what he was dealing with.

“Okay, what sort of home territory are we dealing with?” Wade opened his web browser and headed over to the maps. “Let’s see that inlet behind May Parker’s house.”

He bit his thumb, researching long into the night and forcing himself to stop thinking about the merman that could look straight at him without wincing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to get that romance moving. My time is running out! There’s no time for slow burn here. We’ve got a Merman and a Mercenary to hook up. :P
> 
> Thank you for reading & enjoy!

“You haven’t been wearing your mask.”

The offhand comment from Cable felt like a slap. Wade shoved another bite of pancake into his mouth, glancing toward the closed bathroom door that gave their mer-guest some privacy.

“I don’t wear my mask all the time,” Wade said, mumbling under his breath. _We do wear it near twenty-four seven, even out of uniform._ He grabbed the syrup container and drowned the pancakes in another helping. _But Cable doesn’t get to say it!_ Wade pointed his fork at Cable and gave an example as proof: “I didn’t wear it to the aquarium the other day.”

“But you did wear that hoodie of yours that blocks your entire face,” Cable said. He poured a cup of coffee and sipped slowly. “And it was just an observation, not an accusation.”

_Sounded like one._

_Yeah!_

“Is there a point to that observation?” Wade asked. “You’re not the type for small talk.”

“While I’d be wasting my breath to point out every odd thing you do, this particular change in behavior seems to line up with the arrival with our hiding guest.” Cable finished off his morning coffee and set the empty cup in the sink. “Call this old man curious of your motives, since you already told him you’re a mercenary.”

“Maybe I felt like a change.”

“Wade.”

_How does he have the perfect tone of voice to make us spill our guts?_

_I don’t know but he used it!_

“Fine!” Wade threw his hands up. He turned around in his chair to face Cable and lowered his voice. “He didn’t react when he saw my face. No questions. No staring. No poking. Nothing!”

Cable leaned on the counter. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” Wade confirmed. “Forgive me if I’m enjoying the company of someone who looks at me the same way they look at everyone else.”

“You’re forgiven.”

_Ass._

_But we love him._

“Did you get the cameras set up last night?” Cable asked, changing topics. “The sooner we start monitoring, the sooner we can get the merman out of my bathroom.”

_Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten the work done._

_We don’t want Peter to leave!_

“Yup!” Wade shoved the last of his pancakes in his mouth and chewed. Cable winced and rolled his eyes, waiting for Wade to clear the table and dump the dishes in the sink. “The cameras are good to go and the feed should be live.”

“On the portable screen?”

“Ask asked!” Wade hopped away from the table and dug through his bag, pulling out the case. He set it on the table and popped open the lid, revealing the control pad and the screen built into the lid. “Six cameras, six microphones, and one great view of May Parker’s private inlet.”

“Perfect.” Cable picked up the case and carried it to the bathroom door. He knocked twice. “You decent?”

“I never had clothes!” Peter called back. Cable waited and Wade grinned at the groan and the following, “Yes!”

Cable opened the door and set the case on the sink counter. “I figured since you’re dying of boredom in here, and since it’s your aunt, that you’d be the one who wants to watch the cameras and let us know if anything odd shows up.”

“I thought you were the mercenaries.”

“We are.” Cable put his hands on his hips before he grunted and pulled a towel basket off a small table. He picked it up and placed it closer to the tub before transferring the screen case to the table. “But we’re also working for free, which means you get to pull your own weight.”

“I do that all the time,” Peter said. He splashed his tail and grinned. “Remember?”

Wade laughed and covered his face and Cable rolled his eyes.

“Just what I need: two smart asses.” Cable pointed to the control board and said. “This switches the camera feed. You can show all six at once, but the picture is small, so I recommend rotating the feeds.”

“Got it,” Peter said. He pulled himself up to the tub edge and clicked the button. The screen flickered, showing off the next picture. He clicked it a few more times and whistled. “Wow, that really is my house.”

“Have fun.”

Wade switched places with Cable, crossing the bathroom to take a seat on the tub. He leaned forward on his knees to get a better view of the camera.

“She have a tub inside for visits?” Wade asked. “Or a mini pool?”

Peter huffed with a smile— _Cute!—_ and turned to Wade. “No, no tub or pool. She’s too old to lift me, and if I dragged myself through the grass to her house, I’d wreck my tail and slime coat. She come outside to sit with me and visit while I stayed in the water.”

“That’s sweet.” Wade cooed and clapped his hands together. “I bet you two spent all night talking.”

“No, I made sure she went in after dark to get sleep.” He clicked the camera twice more and pointed. “See the dock?”

“Yup! Nice and sturdy.” Wade gave up on leaning and moved to sit on the floor next to the tub. “What about it?”

“When I was little, she’d sit on the edge of the dock and bring me breakfast every morning. Pancakes with butter and syrup.” Peter grinned. “I got so messy with syrup, but thankfully I was in the water so there was no cleanup.”

“Your aunt has amazing taste,” Wade said. He pointed to the empty plate sitting on the other side of the tub. “How do mine compare?”

“A little flat,” Peter said, holding his hand out. He waved it back and forth in a so-so motion and smirked. “But they were good.”

“Phew, I knew I’d never top family-member pancakes, but I’m glad I passed the test,” Wade said, wiping off his brow. “Pancakes are all I’m good for.”

“Then you shouldn’t mind making me another plate.”

_He’s cute._

_He likes our pancakes._

_He has a bottomless stomach._

Wade had brought the merman a stack of pancakes that rivaled his own. He swallowed and took the empty plate. “You’ve got it. One more stack coming up!”

“Thanks, Wade.” Peter shifted his tail, moving through the water with a smooth glide and grace that drew Wade’s eyes. They followed up to the spine of his back and to his shoulders that were begging to have large hands—Wade stopped. Peter kept grinning, oblivious to Wade’s lust. “And extra syrup this time.”

“You’ve got it.”

Wade left the bathroom on shaking legs and made it to the kitchen. He willed his arousal to go away while he made a fresh batch of pancake batter.

_We’re in trouble._

* * *

“Wade! Cable!” Peter called a few hours later. The sun had set and the streetlights lit their living room with the overhead light off. Wade stopped cleaning his firearms and Cable turned off his show as they both dropped what they were doing to check on Peter’s call. “Hurry!”

“What’s up?” Wade asked. He was first into the bathroom in time to see Peter turn the screen to face the doorway. “Let me guess—you don’t know that truck.”

“Aunt May doesn’t get many visitors and I can see cars in the driveway from the inlet,” Peter said. As they watched the truck finish its route down the driveway to the back of the house, it parked and two men got out. “They don’t belong.”

“On it.” Wade left the bathroom and ran into his room. He gathered his gear and changed into his costume as fast as possible. “Cable, you coming?”

“No, I’m going to trace the truck back to the source,” Cable shouted back. “It’s a work truck. Those look like goons, which means someone’s pulling the strings somewhere else.”

“Like the guy that hired you?”

“No, that was the aquarium,” Cable said. He passed by Wade to his own room and gathered his own things. “They might be connected, though.”

“Okay! Splitting up to cover more ground.” Wade returned to the corner, dressed in his classic red. As he stepped into view, Peter looked up and his face opened in shock. “Oh! You haven’t seen the uniform before!”

_Is that appreciation, lust, or fear?_

_We’ll pretend it’s the first two._

“Say hello to my working clothes!” Wade pulled his mask on and spun around. He ended by pulling his katana from their sheaths and posed. “Deadpool is ready for action.”

“It…suits you,” Peter said, voice slow and eyes wide. He swallowed and shifted in the tub. _Was that a lip lick? It was!_ Peter turned the screen back toward him. “What’re you going to do?”

_Impress you._

“You watch those cameras and see.” Wade sheathed his weapons again and left the bathroom with his best strut. “It’ll be a show!”

“Don’t showboat too much Wade, we need them conscious for information.”

“You spoil everything, Cable.”

“Get moving before they make it into the house.”

“Roger!” Wade turned and waved. “Don’t you worry, Pete! Deadpool’ll make sure your Aunt May doesn’t even know they were there.”

“Good luck,” Peter called. The merman slumped in the tub, watching Wade and Cable leave to go to work. “Be safe.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *looks at calendar date* Let’s get this romance moving. MerMay is leaving fast. o-o Who needs action in a fanfic about comic characters? Cable, don’t let me down and help me get Wade and Peter together!
> 
> Thanks for reading!

_They haven’t gone in yet._

_Just setting a perimeter._

_Lucky us!_

Wade lay flat on the the small hill that overlooked the inlet and May Parker’s small house. He watched the truck in the back, parked just out of view of her darkened windows. The intruders hid near the water, just waiting for Peter to swim up and be captured a second time.

_We should keep things quiet._

_Don’t want to wake Aunt May!_

Wade rolled over onto his back and sat up before sliding down the hill to enter the Parker property. He hummed an epic theme song under his breath— _Who doesn’t?_ —and pulled his beautiful katana out from their sheathes as he approached the unwitting hired help.

“Hey, boys!” Wade whispered when he got close enough to see the nets they held. “Whatcha doing?”

Wade hit them both on the back of their heads with the handles of his katana to keep them from screaming.

* * *

“So was that a show or was that a show?”

Wade threw open the bathroom door, brushing his hands off. He dropped off the two bad guys at Cable’s favorite interrogation spot and rushed home to see what Peter thought of his performance.

_If he thought that was good, wait until he sees us perform in other areas._

_Don’t get ahead of yourself! We still have wooing to do._

_Right, right._

“I took care of them in no time at all, right?” Wade asked, hoping for that sweet, sweet, confirmation that he’d done well. He strolled across the room and sat on the toilet, resting his chin on his laced fingers. “Cable’ll do the interviews and we’ll have your bad guy problem taken care of in no time.”

_He hasn’t said anything yet._

Wade looked at the tub and held his breath.

_Alert! Alert!_

_He’s ten times cuter._

_And a heavy sleeper._

Peter’s head rested against the side of the tub. He’d slid down enough that his nose and mouth were under the water with half-dried bangs sticking to his head. His tail at curved up and over the side of the tub, with the bottom of his fins against the floor.

Each breath blew tiny bubbles from his mouth to the surface of the water.

The sleeping merman might have been the most cutest thing Wade had ever seen in his life. He could forgive that his loud entrance hadn’t stirred the merman.

_Or the fact he fell asleep while we took out the bad guys!_

Wade’s attack had been pretty quick and easy.

_Barely worth writing about._

He pulled off his mask and slid quietly off the toilet. He looked at the camera screen showing the peaceful yard and dock of the Parker household, free of intruders and safe.

“Wade?” Peter poked Wade in the cheek. “How long have you been back?”

“How did me carefully sliding off the toilet wake you up but not my yelling earlier?”

Peter crossed his arms over the tub side and slid his tail back into the water, splashing it over the edge. “I smelled you.”

“Smelled me.”

“Your sweat.” Peter cracked a smile and tapped Wade’s cheek again. “Humans each have distinct smells.”

“So when I took off my mask, you could smell me.”

“Yeah,” Peter said. He scrunched his nose and reached for it. He held it between both hands and tugged on it. “The leather covers you up. I couldn’t smell you earlier when you put it on.”

_And that’s what woke him up._

_Again—not the yelling._

“I’m still confused.” Wade scratched the back of his head, wincing when he caught on an open sore. He hated when they moved! “That little whiff of my scent woke you up over the talking?”

“I’m a heavy sleeper,” Peter said, turning away. He blushed, dusting his cheeks in a light pink. “But my sense of smell is more…instinctual, I guess. It helps protect me if a shark is swimming close by or something while I’m sleeping.”

Wade forced himself to laugh, making his next comment sound like a joke. “So I’m like a shark?”

_A threat to him?_

_That is the opposite of what we want._

But the most realistic option. Try as he might to change his image, Wade did have gallons of blood on his suit and hands.

“No!” Peter shouted, he sat up more, leaning over the edge. “You smell too good for that!”

Wade stared.

Peter blushed harder.

“Stop looking at me like that! It’s not my fault you smell good.” Peter almost whined. “I don’t know why, but you kinda smell like raw meat and it’s nice.”

_Don’t say it._

_Really don’t say it if you want to have sex with him later!_

Despite the very good advice, Wade was nothing if not a slave to his tongue: “It just occurred to me that most fish are carnivorous and I suddenly feel the need to ask if you’ve ever been tempted to eat a person.”

Peter licked his teeth. “Are you scared I’ll eat you alive?”

_Why was that hot._

_Shut up! Better hot than terrifying!_

It could be both.

“I’m not sure scared is the right word.” Wade swallowed and slapped his hands together. _Topic change!_ He pointed at the screen. “Did you see me take out the bad guys at your aunt’s place or did you sleep through the action?”

Peter snorted. He kept his eyes on Wade’s face with that shit-eating grin that shouted “Got you!” before answering. “I watched.”

“And?”

_Back to what we came for!_

_Validation!_

“And what?” Peter asked. He pushed off the side of the tub and flipped over to lean on the other side, turning his tail as he went in the cramped tub. He stretched, showing off his chest and side and Wade had to look away. The one good thing about his skin is it hid any signs of blushing. Peter never took his eyes off Wade. “Do you want me to call you a good boy?”

_We don’t know where this bold, flirting Peter came from but he needs to stay here._

_Agreed._

Agreed.

“I need to know immediately where you heard that phrase considering your only supposed human contact is an eighty year old lady that brings you pancakes.” Wade paused and felt a distinct need to clarify. “Also are we flirting? Is this flirting? Tell me this is flirting.”

Peter covered his mouth and ducked under the water to laugh. His tail splashed Wade with a face full of water before he surfaced once more, spitting out a mouthful of the lukewarm tub water.

“Yes, I’m flirting,” Peter said. He came back to Wade’s half of the tub and pulled up a hand to create a pretend privacy screen. Peter whispered, “And you would be amazed at what fisherman watch out on their boats when they think no one is around.”

“Naughty boy,” Wade whispered back. He smiled wider and put up his own hand to “hide” them both from the world. “What brought on the flirting? Was it my amazing scent or the action out on the docks?”

“It started when I saw your ass in those pants and ended when I watched you fight two dudes with katana, something I previously only thought existed in action movies,” Peter said, biting his lip. He lifted the end of his tail out of the water. “You also look really good in red.”

_So why’d he fall asleep?_

“So why’d you fall asleep?”

_We have really got to stop sabotaging ourselves._

_A fear of good things can do that._

“Because the action lasted like two minutes and it’s been like an hour of nothing to look at?” Peter waved at the camera screens and the peaceful dock with nothing to see but waves blowing the water. He dropped his arms over the tub edge and rested his head on the side of his shoulder. “I haven’t gotten much sleep worrying about Aunt May and I was bored. Two and two equals falling asleep while waiting.”

_Uncomplicated._

_Perfect answer._

_Go back to the flirting! Get that tail!_

“So what exactly have you watched over boater’s shoulders on their little televisions?” Wade asked, doing his best to raise his brows in a flirty manner. “Tell Wade all about it.”

“Don’t answer that.”

Peter and Wade turned in tandem to the door where Cable stood, one hand braced on each side of the door frame.

_Cock block._

_He’s supposed to be a better roommate than that!_

“I interrogated the guys you left me, hunted down the ringleaders, and took care of everything.” Cable pushed off the doorframe and dusted his hands off each other. “I made it very clear if anyone in the chain of information went within a mile of the Parker residence, I would personally pay them a second visit that wouldn’t be as courteous.”

_He must really want Peter out of his bathroom._

_Or he’s tired of the sexual tension floating around his home between the two of us._

_Yeah, that one sounds more correct._

“Did the bad guys wet themselves?” Wade asked. Cable scowled and he threw his hands up. “What? You have that affect on people!”

Cable snorted and smirked. “Just one.”

“I knew it!”

“The end point,” Cable said. “Is that you can take him home in the morning.”

“You missed your tub, didn’t you?”

“I’m more concerned about the water bill.”

“Thanks, Cable!”

The older man rolled his eyes and left the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him to leave Peter and Wade alone.

“I’m surprised you aren’t more upset he seemed to have taken care of everything by himself,” Peter said. He reached up and shoved his hair back, slicking it against his head. “You seemed pretty pumped to play hero.”

Wade tossed his mask on the sink counter from the ground and closed the observation case. “Why should I be upset on a job well done? If Cable says he handled it, he handled it.”

“He’s a good friend, huh?”

“One of the best.” Wade smiled and gave a thumbs up. “He even left us in here alone to continue our earlier conversation.”

“Were we having one of those?” Peter asked. He tapped a finger against his lip and laughed. “I can’t seem to recall.”

“Oh, come on! You were going to tell me all the dirty, naughty things you’ve seen on television,” Wade said. He turned to sit on his knees and put his hands on the tub edge to lean closer. “A young man like yourself must have gotten some ideas from it!”

Peter fake yawned and stretched. “No, I don’t remember that at all.”

Wade whined.

_That tease!_

“Pretty please?” Wade said, clasping his hands together. “Throw me a bone, here.”

“You’re into pet play?”

“Please, please, please tell me that’s something you caught someone watching on at boat.”

“I can’t recall,” Peter said. Wade slumped on the side of the tub. His heart and dick couldn’t take this level of teasing. He was already hard in his suit, just from the thoughts of Peter watching lewd videos. Peter reached over and tapped Wade’s cheek again. “But you know, I might remember later if you came to see me at my aunt’s place when we’re not a thin wall away from your very gracious roommate.”

“Good idea,” Wade nodded. “I will absolutely ask again tomorrow.”

Peter kissed Wade on the cheek. “And I’ll have an answer for you…after I introduce you to my Aunt.”

_We get to meet the family._

_And we have a high chance of getting laid._

Wade was so, so glad that Cable wanted peace and quiet during the finale of his show and he went to the aquarium that day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going up a little after midnight on May 31st. The whole day is ahead of me. I can finish this entire story in one more chapter, right? RIGHT?
> 
> Yes. I can. I shall. o-o Let’s go.

Wade thanked his mercenary training and skills for allowing him to get Peter out of Cable’s place, into the car, and driven to the Parker’s place without a single soul being the wiser that Peter was a merman.

_Bless blankets power to hide anything from a merman to a dead body and being stronger than the average man!_

Leaving at four in the morning before most people were awake also helped.

They arrived at the Parker residence at 5:00 a.m. and were greeted by May Parker, who had spotted Cable’s car drive up.

Because she was awake in the kitchen.

_An early bird!_

“Peter!” the older woman shouted, stumbling out of the porch step. Smears of batter were against the apron around her waist and that explained that. _Making pancakes at dawn! How sweet!_ Wade stepped back to let the woman tackle the young Merman hanging out of the backseat to give her a better angle to hug. “Oh! I thought I lost you, too!”

“You didn’t, Aunt May,” Peter said. He hugged his aunt back with both arms, squeezing hard. “I missed you.”

Wade clasped his hands together and sniffed. He rubbed the side of his watering eyes and stepped back to allow the joyful reunion to continue. He’d dressed down in comfortable jeans and a sweatshirt, keeping the hood up and hiding most of his face.

Peter hadn’t let him wear the mask.

“And you’re the man who brought my boy home,” Mrs. Parker said, turning to Wade. He rubbed the back of his neck through the sweatshirt fabric and nodded. She smiled warmly and said, “Come here.”

She held her hand out and Peter waved him over with an amused grin.

“Who can say no to a hug?” Wade ran over and tackled them both, lifting them in the air as he squeezed the old woman and the merman to his chest. “You two are so cute!”

_Adorable!_

_I want to try her pancakes!_

“You’re a strong one, aren’t you?” Mrs. Parker laughed, patting Wade’s arm. “Help me get Peter to the dock and then you two are going to tell me everything.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Such a good boy.” Mrs. Parker hopped out of Wade’s grasp. She leaned up and pushed his hood aside to kiss his cheek. While Wade stared, she hugged Peter once more before she headed back to the house. “If you follow the path around the side, you’ll see the dock. I’m going to grab a stack of pancakes and be right out.”

Wade stared after her, reaching up to touch his cheek. “I love that woman.”

“Everyone does,” Peter said. He tugged on the edge of Wade’s hoodie. “Come on. The sooner we explain everything, the sooner I can take you somewhere private.”

“To make out?”

_That was smooth._

_He’s got to say yes now._

“I’ll think about it,” Peter said. He tugged harder and huffed. Peter shifted, his bright red tail dislodging the blanket. “Help me into the water, Wade.”

“Yes, sir.”

* * *

Facts: May Parker made delicious pancakes, loved her merman nephew, and went to bed early.

“I think you impressed her,” Peter said, arms crossed on the dock. His tail floated in the water behind him, swishing back and forth under the surface. “I’m glad. It’d be awkward if she hated you and then walked in on me sucking your dick.”

Wade coughed on his next bite of pancake.

_Thank goodness for an awesome healing factor!_

“Too much?” Peter patted his back with a snarky grin. “Or too soon?”

“Too blunt,” Wade said. He put down the plate containing the last of his pancake stack and pointed his finger at the grinning merman. “I don’t know you that well yet. We’re still at the hinting and flirting part—Dirty jokes are like third stage friendship level.”

“Friendship?” Peter drummed his fingers on the deck. “Are you a friends with benefits guy? Because I maybe thinking something more serious? Possibly?”

_Yes. Absolutely yes._

_Maybe we’re going a bit fast though._

_For a one night stand? No. A serious relationship?_

That was another story.

Wade frowned. “We just met.”

“You’re hot and a good person, what’s your point?” Peter shifted and glanced away. “I mean, we were together for like a week. That’s more than enough to time get serious about a relationship.”

“For a movie maybe,” Wade said. He stared at the merman, pouting and flushing. _Oh! Oh, that’s adorable._ Wade snickered and turned, spreading his legs on either side of Peter’s shoulders. He leaned over and asked, “Are you basing all your relationship knowledge on what you’ve seen in adult films?”

The merman flushed as red as his tail in a mix of anger and embarrassment.

_He’s so cute I want to eat him._

_No, no. He’s so cute we could let him eat us!_

_It’d be a good way to go._

Peter splashed Wade in the face. “Stop laughing! I don’t exactly have a lot of company out here to get tips from, okay?”

“You don’t talk to your aunt about it?” Wade asked, holding his hands up to stop the assault of water. “She seems the nurturing type.”

“Aunt May and Uncle Ben used to talk about how they met,” Peter said, his voice turning low. He set his head on his crossed arms on the wooden dock. “Their love sure sounded like the romance movies I’d watch.”

“She sounds like a lucky lady,” Wade said. Peter’s smile had turned into a thoughtful frown. _No, no. We made him sad! Fix it!_ Wade replayed the conversation in his head and stopped. “The guys you watched had romance movies to uh…get into the mood? That’s oddly wholesome.”

“What? No.” Peter snorted and shook his head. “Aunt May bought me a portable DVD player for my birthday when I was ten and liked to bring me movies from the—what did she call it? The five dollar bin?”

“Which contains only the classics.”

Peter laughed and looked up—Wade wished he hadn’t decided to stick the merman’s head between his thighs. He widened his legs and sat back a bit, the earlier offer of a blowjob still fresh.

“Aunt May doesn’t make much, so that’s all she could afford,” Peter said. He scratched the back of his hair. “Still, though, it did result in a variety of films. She said she’d pick at random and we’d watch together on the dock.”

“Every time you open your mouth you say something adorable.”

“Adorable isn’t quite what I’m going for.” Peter reached up and pushed his hair back. He glanced at Wade once more before shrugging. “I guess I’ll have to be bolder.”

Wade wasn’t sure how much bolder the merman could get after offering a literal blow—

Peter grabbed Wade’s legs, one in each arm and swam back hard, yanking Wade into the water.

In the water, Peter had the control. He dragged Wade with ease with a strong tail pushing them down and forward. _Hold your breath! Hold your breath!_ Wade didn’t struggle, attempting to kick and swim along, but it felt useless when Peter carried him along like a doll.

They broke water a few minutes later and Wade coughed the water out of his lungs. He patted his chest and grabbed for something to hold himself up.

“Sorry,” Peter said. He rubbed Wade’s back and winced. “I thought humans could hold their breath longer than that.”

“Depends on the person.” Wade cleared his throat one last time. “Where are we?”

“My room,” Peter said. He gave Wade space and floated to the center of the area. “Uh, welcome!”

They were in a small cave full of water and as Wade looked around and spotted lines drawn on the wall on one side. He followed them up and saw the shelving built into the walls of the cave, held up by clever supports and well above what Wade now knew were marked water lines.

Small battery operated lights were on and Wade noted the motion sensor on the side.

_We should have seen the lights earlier. It’s a cave!_

_Some mercenary we are._

Protected from the tide, the shelves were covered in DVD cases and small trinkets. A few needlework decorations were hunt on the edges and children’s drawings in frames were placed higher. A small selection of books were there, as well as a radio, the aforementioned DVD player, and a set of weights.

“You work out?” Wade asked, pointing at the hand weights. “No wonder you’re so strong.”

“You’d think swimming all the time would keep a man in shape, but alas,” Peter said. He held up his arms, flexing just enough to show off his own earned muscle. Wade had appreciated it long before now on many an occasion, but it never hurt to see it again. “But the best part is this!”

Peter swam around Wade and went to the other side. He ducked under the water and pulled up with a ladder. He set it against one of the shelves and pulled himself up until he reached the top. Peter grunted as he reached to the back of the shelf where Wade couldn’t see, until he pulled back a large, clear plastic tub. “Check it out! It’s a waterproof case so I can take things in and out of my room without them getting ruined.”

“Awesome,” Wade said. Peter put the case back and dove back into the water. Wade kept his hand on the wall and looked around. “Your room is great and all, but I’m going to get tired if I have to keep treading water all night. Is there like…a groove or something I can sit in?”

“Better,” Peter said. He grabbed Wade’s hand and tugged. “This way, and don’t worry, we don’t have to go underwater again.”

The merman led Wade to a darker corner of the cave where the lights didn’t reach and kept going. Hidden from the light, was a small opening that led into another “room” in the cave. Small motion activated lights clicked on, bathing them both in a fluorescent glow.

“There you are!” Peter said, shoving Wade toward a small outcropping of rock. “A perfect place to sit.”

Wade pulled himself up on the side and sat, leaning against the cave wall. “What’s this room for?”

“Sleeping,” Peter said. He bit his lip and looked at Wade again. “I was being serious earlier, you know. About the sex stuff.”

“I was too,” Wade said. He snorted and grinned. “Don’t mistake my shock and teasing for rejection!”

“Oh, good! Perfect.” Peter bit his lip and winced. “Though, before we start I should probably tell you something first, since it might be important later.”

“Lay it on me!” Wade said. He threw his hands out and kicked his feet under the water. “I’m flexible and open to experimentation.”

“Glad to know,” Peter said. He scratched the back of his hair and laughed. “Because apparently my species of merfolk breeds by spawning.”

_So?_

_He’s saying he doesn’t have a cock._

That wasn’t a dealbreaker as far as Wade was concerned. All Peter had to do was tell Wade what to touch and where and he’d be more than happy to comply—

“Which means I can’t orgasm or anything like that,” Peter said, biting his lip. “Is that a problem?”

_That makes things more complicated._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The world is literally burning out there and there’s a pandemic going on. Lord, I pray everyone is safe. Take care of yourselves. *sends hugs to everyone reading* May ends today, so let’s hope June is better.
> 
> But, you’re probably here for a break & something uplifting and fluffy to read. This story ended up a pinch rushed (didn’t write as much as I’d thought this month…), but overall I’m happy with it.
> 
> Thank you for reading & stay safe!

Wade did not know how to answer Peter’s question.

_Only one person finishing is fine once in a while._

_But when it’s all the time it feels kinda selfish._

But Peter was the one that proposed the sex stuff first. Why would he suggest it if he couldn’t benefit, too? Maybe he just liked the emotional high or—

“I mean, technically I can orgasm! Like, from the base definition,” Peter blurted. Wade snapped his head to look at the flustered merman in the face. He might have been quiet for too long, because Peter’s rambling intensified and displayed his nervousness. “Because I can ejaculate if the conditions are right, but even then, it’s like a quick burst thing so there’s no like…pleasure that goes with it? It’s just kinda happens and then it’s over—”

“Hey, hey! Slow down!” Wade shouted. He slid off the rock he sat on to get in the water with Peter and reached over to put his hand on the other man’s head. “You don’t need to be nervous, okay?”

“Sorry,” Peter said. He looked down. “You just took so long to answer that I figured I scared you.”

_We kinda did leave him hanging there._

_Then don’t repeat the same mistake!_

“I was thinking,” Wade said, answering in a rush before he could get lost in his head again. He scooted back so he could lean on the wall, pulling Peter with him. “That’s all.”

“And what do you think?”

“How can I make you feel good in an orgasm’s place?” Wade asked. Peter’s eyes popped up and those big hazel eyes widened. Wade rested both elbows on the rock outcropping behind him to hold himself up in the water. “I mean, you clearly still want to mess around even though you can’t uh, finish, so to speak—so you must get something out of it. Just let me know what that is and I will do my best to make this good for both of us.”

“You won’t feel weird being the only one who gets to finish?” Peter asked. He rubbed his arm, floating closer. Peter leaned on the wall next to Wade, though they didn’t touch. His massive tail brushed against Wade every so often. “That usually wasn’t a good thing in the stuff I watched.”

“I imagine in the stuff you watched, one person selfishly got off and then walked away,” Wade said. “Which is only cool if you talk about it before hand and that’s your thing.”

Peter snorted.

_There we go._

“So again, what would you like to do?” Wade asked. “Because I have been thinking about making out with you since that first night we dumped you in Cable’s jacuzzi tub. I’m cool if that’s as far as we go if you want things to say equal.”

Peter smiled and his tail flicked, pushing him closer to Wade. He hummed and turned, patting the rock outcropping. “Sit up here.”

“I am at your command.” Wade hauled himself up onto the surface and exhaled. His heavy clothes weighed him down with water, but he didn’t want to strip too soon. _This is Peter’s pace!_ “What now?”

“When I was watching the men on those boats, I will admit that I noticed the big difference between them and myself,” Peter said. He grinned and swam back, floating in the middle of the water. Wade watched him, eager to hear more. “I asked Aunt May for books about fish, which is where I learned about the spawning thing.”

“I’m sure that was awkward and educational.”

“Very,” Peter said, laughing. He grinned, swimming closer. “But, the whole time I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have a cock like that of my own.”

_We’re listening._

“So I was wondering,” Peter said, swimming closer. He put his hand on Wade’s thigh and trailed it close to the center where his fingers rested on the front of his jeans. “If I could borrow yours and do all the things I wanted to try if I had one of my own.”

_Yes._

_Yup._

“Absolutely,” Wade said, nodding. He ripped off his soaked hoodie and threw it to the side of the rock with a wet slap. Peter snickered as he opened the top of his belt buckle and unbuttoned the first few notches. “You can do whatever you want. Wait. Do you want to finish taking this off?”

“Yes,” Peter answered, voice hoarse. He grabbed the belt line of Wade’s pants and pulled the wet fabric down, dropping it somewhere far below in the cave water. He went for the boxers next and tugged down, grinning when he saw Wade in his full, scarred glory. “You smell so good, Wade. Why do you smell so good?”

Hot breath warmed his skin through the chilly water and Wade shivered. “I wish I knew. I’d make sure I smelled like that all the time.”

Smooth skin touched his scarred thighs and Peter helped himself to a spot between Wade’s legs. He kissed a scar and glanced up at Wade. “For the record, this isn’t a thanks for saving me.”

“Oh?” Wade asked, his voice cracking. “That’s not even a little factor?”

“Nope,” Peter said. His hand touched Wade, hot and smooth and confident. “If I had seen you on a boat, I would have dragged you under for sure.”

_Why is that so hot._

_Please keep touching us, please keep touching us._

“I am going to finish a lot faster than I want to admit if you keep talking like that,” Wade said, a whine in his voice. “So uh, keep that in mind.”

“Noted for future experimentation,” Peter said. He continued his slow attention with his hand while Wade squirmed, exploring every bit of skin. Each time Wade shifted, Peter paid more attention. He had Wade captured in his focus and it felt so good Wade wanted to sob. “Do you mind if I use more than my hand?”

“Do whatever you want,” Wade said, breathing hard. “You could bite it off for all I care right now.”

_It’d hurt, but it’d grow back._

“You do smell good enough to eat,” Peter said, grinning. He kissed the inside of Wade’s thigh one more time before his head moved closer. “A little taste wouldn’t hurt.”

Wade’s head knocked into the back of the wall when Peter proceeded to do more than have a “little” taste.

* * *

“You can’t find my pants.”

Wade stared at the guilty looking merman who had just finished his second search through the bottom of the water.

“I’m sure they’re here somewhere! The current in here isn’t strong enough to pull something that heavy out to sea!” Peter said, looking back down. “At least you have your boxers?”

“I am not risking walking by your aunt’s windows with only my hoodie and boxers on.” Wade put his hand on Peter’s shoulder. “She will know what we did.”

_Got a blowjob._

_Had a great make-out session afterwards._

_Peter’s cute lips are still puffy!_

All things that Wade had no idea if Mrs. Parker would take well.

“Or you could just say you took the jeans off to dry after I dragged you under the water.” Peter splashed Wade in the shoulder. “Though I doubt she even sees you. It’s after midnight.”

“Is it?” Wade asked. Peter pointed at a clock on the wall he—as a totally awesome mercenary absolutely saw earlier in the evening—that showed the time as 12:50 a.m. “So I could totally sneak out without my pants and it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“You could, or you could stay the night,” Peter said. He cleared his throat and looked at the rock outcropping. “I have at least one blanket and a pillow—though it’s a plastic one for a pool.”

“Do you want me to stay the night?”

“I did come up with a fool proof excuse for Aunt May in the morning,” Peter said. He swam over and hooked his arm together with Wade’s and leaned on it. “Plus, I’m sure she’ll make pancakes again.”

“That is a bribe worth taking,” Wade said. He dropped his head onto the top of Peter’s and snuggled closer under the water. His skin wrinkled with water and he had to get out at some point, but for the moment he couldn’t imagine a more comfortable place. “In fact, I could see myself coming back for those every morning.”

“That’d be nice.” Peter kissed his shoulder. “You’ll have to bring some of your favorite movies next time we can watch together.”

_Future dates!_

_This is the best._

“Don’t forget television shows! I’ve got a show about four amazing old ladies that you will love!” Wade turned and pulled Peter closer around the waist. “Maybe we can watch with your Aunt before retreating back here for more one on one time. You have a lot of experimenting to do, if I recall.”

“That sounds like a plan.” Peter leaned up and kissed Wade. “But that can wait until tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re going to stay the night?”

“Yes, sir.”

Peter kissed Wade one more time, pushing him against the wall. Open mouthed and desperate, Wade was more than happy to kiss back.

_Does this mean we have a merman boyfriend?_

_This means we have a merman boyfriend._

* * *

Across the city, Cable sat on his couch and watched his favorite television show. He smiled into his beer as he took a sip. “Peace and quiet at last.”


End file.
